'If I'd known then'

What would your adult self say to your younger self if given the chance? A few years back I picked up a book called, “If I’d known then”, where different women in their 20’s and 30’s wrote letters to their younger selves. After reading some of the letters, I was inspired to write my own. There was something really amazing and powerful about the way their words showcase not only their journey into adulthood, but also their love story within. We go through so many obstacles in life in order to arrive at the perfect destination-we cry, we struggle, we get our heart broken sometimes, and just when we think we can’t anymore, we show that we can in ways we never thought possible. Below is the letter I wrote to my younger self when I was 19. I thought about writing a new one since a few years have passed, but I think my 19 year old self said it best. Go ahead, write your own-I dare ya.  

Dear Steph,

I know life seems tough now; but I’m sorry to say, it only gets tougher.  You will hit some rough patches and you won’t understand it.  You will cry until you have no tears left and you won’t think you are strong enough.  But listen drama queen, you are one of the strongest people I know.  And the challenges you face only make you stronger.  I’ve learned a lot in 19 years but here are the two most important things of all: everything happens for a reason (you might not see it right away, but you will be thankful in the future), and life moves on (it’s just up to you whether to move along with it).

Try not to be so naïve.  People make promises they can’t keep, they lie, and they disappoint you- it’s just a part of life. Forgive them, but never forget. Sometimes people are meant to be in your life for 5 minutes, 5 years-and if their lucky, forever.  It’s all about what God has in store for you. 

Enjoy your youth because you only have it once. Don’t rush into adulthood.  I know your mom has told you, “everything has its time”, and you may have rolled your eyes but trust me, she is right.  Cherish everything around you because time goes by so quickly.  Don’t stress so much about insignificant things that will seem silly years from now.  Dance for as long as you can, laugh every chance you get, and smile even when you’re feeling blue.

Don’t take your family for granted; they may seem a little annoying now, but later you will realize they define who you are.

Don’t worry about having relationships; you will have plenty of time for that later.  One day, you will meet a boy who is going to love you for everything that you are, inside and out.  Never settle.  You want the fairy tale, and you can get it if you want to. Just because it’s your first love, doesn't mean it will be the last. Remember, it’s only a mistake if you don’t learn from it.  Most importantly, love yourself and make yourself happy before anyone else can. 

Your friend,

Steph

The Creek of Dawson (Pacey)

     “I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over, will it be yes or will it be…sorry?” Does this song by Dido remind you of anything? Teenage drama?  James Van Der Beek and really bad haircuts? Katie Holmes before she married a crazy man named Tom Cruise and became a zombie?  If you haven’t guessed already, the answer is Dawson’s Creek. The show you loved to hate, or hated to love. It was the show that opened the pathway for many teenage soap operas such as One Tree hill, Gossip Girl, and The O.C, among many.

     Dawson’s Creek was created by Kevin Williamson, the same director responsible for the popular Scream movies. The show debuted on The W.B. in 1998 and went on for six seasons. Dawson’s Creek is based on four best friends including, Dawson Leery (James Van Der Beek), the aspiring film director; Pacey Witter (Joshua Jackson), the slacker; Josephine “Joey” Potter (Katie Holmes), the overachiever and cynic; and Jennifer Lindley (Michele Williams), the wild child;  living in a fictional town called Capeside, Massachusetts.
    
     The first four seasons of the show follows the friends as they deal with the angst that is high school, and later in college during the final two seasons. They deal with controversial issues such as sex, homosexuality, drugs, alcohol, and mental illness. The characters often cry, talk (and talk and talk) and analyze their feelings (really, it’s exhausting), and fall in and out of love with each other. One of the more popular story lines involves the love triangle which quickly develops between Dawson, Joey, and Pacey. Joey spends a large portion of the show contemplating her feelings for both of them, and ultimately makes her final decision about who she wants to be with during the series finale when they jump four years into the future. Who will it be Joey Potter? Dun dun dun.

     Ok, yes it’s called Dawson’s Creek, but anyone who watches knows it should really be called “Pacey’s Creek.” Pacey has all the great lines: “You know, this town is the absolute embodiment of dull. Apart from the occasional sex scandal provided by yours truly, nothing happens here”, and well duh, the (really) good looks. Dawson pretty much whines a lot and cries when he doesn’t get his way. He is too involved with himself and his film career to care about this creek that is supposedly his. Pacey, on the other hand, is the character that carries the show with his insight and wise cracks. Though he is represented as the underdog and screw up of the bunch, he embodies everything high school—insecurity, vulnerability, hopeless romanticism (try not to fall in love with him though, he’s mine).

     Dawson’s Creek, although riveting and addicting, can make you wonder sometimes.  The characters wisdom and vocabulary is beyond their teenage years—I’m not even sure if my wisdom is up to par with theirs. I often find myself saying, “Huh?”, in response to their dialogue. For instance, during season two, Dawson makes an autobiographical movie for a film contest and it seems as though he used a thesauruses to write the dialogue for the screen play. Some of the dialogue includes lines such as, “..It’s telling me that I should consider the unequivocal, highly irrational, possibly damaging proposition of loving you back.” Do you know any teenagers that talk like this? Do you even know adults who talk like this?  

     Later, Dawson and Joey discuss the status of their relationship—friends, not friends, together, kind of together? Joey explains, “It's called social evolution, Dawson. What's strong enough flourishes and what doesn't we look at behind glass cases in science museums.” I often wonder if there should be subtitles at the bottom of the screen: “We’ll see how it goes.” Each character is witty in their own way; they have those one liners you wish you could say in real life. But despite their questionable wisdom and sophisticated vocabulary, these characters are raw and relatable for a teenage audience—heartbreak, sex, college anxiety—the kind of element that makes a show timeless. I mean, teenagers do, after all, talk a lot and act as if everything that happens in their lives is the end of the world.

     Even though there is a lot of whining and crying on the show, it’s not all drama. There are a lot of funny and memorable moments throughout the series. One of them comes when Dawson and Andie, a secondary character, get drunk for the first time on his sixteenth birthday. Dawson is having a difficult time dealing with his break up with Joey, and Andie is tired of being the “good girl”, so they both drink their sorrows away and clumsily get on stage at a jazz bar to sing the blues. Dawson sings, “My name is Dawson Leary, and I'm feeling kind of weary/ Today is my birthday, and you all look a little bleary / The girl that I cared for left me and ran away, straight into the arms of a guy who turned out to be gay / I got the blues! Yeah! Today I woke up feeling I was born to lose!” His performance is hysterical; it even makes you like the guy for a moment. Who knew dull Dawson had it in him? Just when you’re feeling emotionally exhausted, Dawson’s Creek will quickly raise your spirits with a little sarcasm and humor.

     Surprisingly, the actors do a good job of capturing the emotions of high school and college teenagers, despite being in their early to mid 20’s while filming the show (I said they do a good job of acting like teenagers, not looking like ones). Each actor has a scene where they showcase the depth of their acting abilities—Jackson when he delivers his break up speech to Joey at the prom (Yeah, he’s still cute even when he’s angry), Williams in her struggle to cope with death and Dawson’s rejection, Van Der Beek when he breaks down crying after letting Joey go to be with Pacey, and Holmes when she confronts her dad for the first time in prison. Just because it’s a teenage drama, doesn’t mean these actors don’t give outstanding and genuine performances.
    
     Alright, you may not have put a sentence together so carefully and beautifully like the Capeside gang during your high school years, but I guarantee you will wish you had a Joey, Pacey, Jen, and ok, even Dawson at your side to survive it.  Next time Dido asks, get transported into the drama and Pacey’s gorgeous chestnut eyes, and say yes!