Well, the first day I was really excited and ready to start this new chapter in my life. “Hooray, back to the classroom!” pretty much describe the feelings I had that morning when I woke up. Ok, I never really use the word hooray, and I never get excited about sitting in a classroom, but you get the point. My feelings of optimism however started to dwindle when I sat in traffic for nearly an hour. I sort of wanted to punch all the cars in the face, but once I arrived with more than half an hour to spare, I got over it. So my hopefulness was back on track as I walked into the giant new building where all my classes would be in. My class was on the fifth floor so I headed to the stairs, and walked up each flight up stairs until I reached the fourth floor. But to my horror, there was no fifth floor; the next available floor was on the roof. And even though I knew grad school would be different, I was thinking there was no way I was going to have class on the roof.
So, I took a different approach, I spotted the elevator and was planning to take it to the fifth floor, but what do you know, there wasn’t a freaking option for a fifth floor. It was that moment that I started to panic, and it didn’t help that I was peeing my pants. So I did the most logical thing to do, I started frantically asking people if they knew where the fifth floor was, but of course, no one knew, and suggested I was probably in the wrong building. But no, I knew there was no way I was wrong, or was I? Crap. And naturally, people thought I was a lost little freshman. “Awww, but you’re so little!!” said the sophomore. Well thanks rando girl for pointing out the obvious, and not helping me find this stupid mysterious fifth floor classroom. GR! For the next twenty minutes I walked to every floor hoping maybe the fifth floor would appear by magic. It was getting close to class time, so my panic turned into stage 10 terror pretty quickly. I found myself surrounded by teacher offices, so at last resort I sought out a teacher to help me. “Oh, it’s on the third level.” She said firmly and kindly walked away. Ok, so it’s on the third floor? I thought. Nope,it wasn’t. Are you serious? Was this place built like a maze and turned into a school building at last minute? I just didn’t get it. I returned again to the teacher, yes I walked in a circle basically, and it was then that I heard the most beautiful question, “Do you want me to take you there?” Yup, I had to be walked to my class like a 5 year old. Optimism at this point: around a 7.
Finally I get there with five minutes to spare, but no time to go to the bathroom (my poor poor bladder who did nothing to deserve this). Class starts and boom 5 minutes in, we’re having an intellectual literary discussion. People are saying things that don’t make sense to me, and using words I don’t understand. The best way to describe how I was feeling is the way a kid in middle school would feel if they suddenly found themselves in a college class. In other words, pretty darn DUMB. Is one of the prerequisite's of grad school to be intellectually witty, and use big words?? I don’t think I received the memo, but I borderline wanted to cry and complain to everyone I knew (or anyone that would listen). When the teacher called one me, I tried hard to sound like I knew what I was talking about, but alas, my effort was mediocre compared to the smarties in the class. It also didn’t help that I looked so young compared to these people who were bonding over their children stories. “I just graduated college?” was all I had to offer. And what would my writing be like in comparison to the others? Shakespeare Vs..the little girl? I was seriously doubting my abilities, and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Optimism: 4.5. I think the only good thing about this day was the break we had in which I was able to pee, and that I only had to walk a few steps to get there.
So, I took a different approach, I spotted the elevator and was planning to take it to the fifth floor, but what do you know, there wasn’t a freaking option for a fifth floor. It was that moment that I started to panic, and it didn’t help that I was peeing my pants. So I did the most logical thing to do, I started frantically asking people if they knew where the fifth floor was, but of course, no one knew, and suggested I was probably in the wrong building. But no, I knew there was no way I was wrong, or was I? Crap. And naturally, people thought I was a lost little freshman. “Awww, but you’re so little!!” said the sophomore. Well thanks rando girl for pointing out the obvious, and not helping me find this stupid mysterious fifth floor classroom. GR! For the next twenty minutes I walked to every floor hoping maybe the fifth floor would appear by magic. It was getting close to class time, so my panic turned into stage 10 terror pretty quickly. I found myself surrounded by teacher offices, so at last resort I sought out a teacher to help me. “Oh, it’s on the third level.” She said firmly and kindly walked away. Ok, so it’s on the third floor? I thought. Nope,it wasn’t. Are you serious? Was this place built like a maze and turned into a school building at last minute? I just didn’t get it. I returned again to the teacher, yes I walked in a circle basically, and it was then that I heard the most beautiful question, “Do you want me to take you there?” Yup, I had to be walked to my class like a 5 year old. Optimism at this point: around a 7.
Finally I get there with five minutes to spare, but no time to go to the bathroom (my poor poor bladder who did nothing to deserve this). Class starts and boom 5 minutes in, we’re having an intellectual literary discussion. People are saying things that don’t make sense to me, and using words I don’t understand. The best way to describe how I was feeling is the way a kid in middle school would feel if they suddenly found themselves in a college class. In other words, pretty darn DUMB. Is one of the prerequisite's of grad school to be intellectually witty, and use big words?? I don’t think I received the memo, but I borderline wanted to cry and complain to everyone I knew (or anyone that would listen). When the teacher called one me, I tried hard to sound like I knew what I was talking about, but alas, my effort was mediocre compared to the smarties in the class. It also didn’t help that I looked so young compared to these people who were bonding over their children stories. “I just graduated college?” was all I had to offer. And what would my writing be like in comparison to the others? Shakespeare Vs..the little girl? I was seriously doubting my abilities, and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Optimism: 4.5. I think the only good thing about this day was the break we had in which I was able to pee, and that I only had to walk a few steps to get there.
Day 2 and Day 3
A whole weekend had passed before the second and third day, so I was feeling slightly rejuvenated. Somehow I discovered an elevator that indeed did have a fifth floor. I will never figure out that building, but I will always take this magic elevator no matter what. However, the fact that it was pretty much the end of the world outside on day 2 and day 3 and that traffic was a nightmare, made me cranky and annoyed. SUPER cranky and annoyed. And I was taking it out on everyone. Talk to me on these days, basically I bit your head off. “Try going to grad school” was pretty much my answer for everything. “How was your day?” “Try going to grad school.” “I love you”—“Try going to grad school.” Not only was I cranky pants, I was also coming down with a bad case of nostalgia. College, sweet sweet college how I long for you. Sure class was always a bummer, but the difference was I could go back to my apartment when it was over and spend quality time with my beloved roomies, procrastinate until the day my hw was due, and sit around and eat easy mac. And having to pass my now alma mater every day on the way to school was torture. College is gone, and consequently, so is my youth. People continued to say things I didn’t understand, I continued to cry inside. Change is not my friend, and I wanted to beat grad school up. No more school, I’m tired of school!!! I had just celebrated the fact that I was done with school just three months ago, now I was back and felt as I had dreamt my graduation. It’s official, I am going to fail grad school, never get a good job, and live in box. Optimism: 2.5.
Day 4
Week three, shut up already, stop complaining. The day was nice and sunny, and woo hoo the traffic was tolerable!! By this day, I discovered that the resentment towards traffic can be fixed by having a dance party in your car. College is overrr, and I can live without the extra 10 pounds. HORRAY, yes I actually used it that time, not EVERYONE is Albert Einstein smart. Not EVERYONE is married with babies ( Note: This is one is iffy, mainly because by not everyone I really just mean me). Not EVERYONE understands the logic behind this gigantic building of hell and the fifth floor mystery. If you talk to people, you learn their scared shitless too. Never thought I’d be so happy to hear about someone else’s fears. Perhaps I let my dramatic nature get the best of me, or perhaps I spent too many summer days tanning below the sun and decaying my brain. I can use big words too: onomatopoeia. Sure, I can get the hang of this. Optimism: 10.9
Day 5-?
Stay stuned.
Day 5-?
Stay stuned.
